03.09.10
Dear Ashden: Months Twenty-Nine and Thirty
Dear Ash,
You’ve changed so much in the past two months, it’s hard to remember how you once were! You’re entirely a little boy now, full sentences, complete grasp on language, and your information-sponge brain is CRAZY COOL.
“Don’t say no, that’s not very nice!!” is what I hear about 10x a day, including if I’m just answering a question your father has asked me like, “did you read this book?” You say that sentence with such gusto and determination- especially when I’m telling you no when you’re doing something you’re not supposed to be, that we’ve had to start saying other things rather than no, such as “RED LIGHT!” (thanks, day care!) or moving your attention to something you are allowed to do. No one wants to hear the word no so often, so I don’t blame you.
Sometimes at night when I come to bed and you stir awake, or if you’re having a hard time falling asleep and I’m feeling especially patient, you and I will whisper. I’ll tell you a story from when I was a little girl, or we’ll talk about things that you like, like your toys. You’re completely captive, silent, still, and we focus on each other and I feel the bond between us growing stronger and stronger. I love this quiet time.
My mom told me that when her kids were about your age, her grandfather said to her that she didn’t know it yet, but this is the best time of her parenthood. I thought about that, and knew that my great-grandfather was right; you’re safe, I know where you are at all times, you’re too young to know how big and scary the world is, the things that make you the happiest are raisins and dinky cars. Your life is simple, beautiful, and because of that, so is mine.
You understand plays on language now, like if your father says “Value Village, not Val-ME Village!” You get a kick out of it! Same with “me too, me three” etc.
Your hobbies are still the same as they have been since you were six months old. Cars. Trucks. Trains. We went bowling with your uncle Jarrod in your 29th month, and with some help and not sticking to the three-ball rule, you scored higher than anyone else! We’re also really, really bad! You are getting better and better with knowing car names, car logos and now the makes of cars. When we’re driving, you’ll go “Ford. Honda. Mazda.” about all of the passing cars. You can tell what a brand new dinky car is just by the shape of it (which passes my knowledge of cars), proven the night that your uncle brought you a brand new yellow car, and your dad asked you, “look at this car and tell us what kind it is.” You studied the front (not seeing the logo) and confidently said, “Porche.” Easy. You’ve got a major collection of them now, and your favorite just happens to be a piece of crap plastic one with eyes that looks like it’s from the movie Cars. Of course. Thanks for that, Disney.
There were a few big snowstorms in the past couple of months, and you always love to come outside and help us with your little wooden shovel. Sometimes you last two minutes, sometimes 45. The snowstorm in the pictures below was the worst one of the year, and even though it doesn’t LOOK like that much snow, shovelling took us two hours!
Okay, here’s the parenting part of your newsletter, more importantly the breastfeeding part I know you’ll probably cringe at once you’re older: NO MORE NIGHT NURSING. We’re done! Kaput! Over! Finito!!! It was a loonnnng process to cut it out completely, but in the end, totally worth it and you are sleeping so much more soundly and I feel totally comfortable knowing that you had it for so long and I sacrificed so much sleep for your health for nearly 2.5 years, but I’m THRILLED that it’s over. It was hard on both of us, because you did get so sad when I first started trying to cut it out, and then you got so so so angry with me, but then you started getting used to being told no, not yet, soon, and eventually I stopped saying “soon” and just said no, and you didn’t complain, and then we were offically done with nursing after 7:30pm! You will still ask for it at least once while we’re sleeping, but I just say that the “milkies are sleeping” and you accept that pretty much without a fuss, and then we go back to sleep. Now, if I could get your hand away from cupping my boobs, I’d be happy!
You still nurse before bed, but we’re actually getting you to fall asleep without a boob in your mouth. Usually it’s with a dinky car or your two bears Cheswick and Maroon, I lay with you for a while after a short nursing session (there’s hardly any milk there, I don’t even let down anymore), and after a while I say, “one more minute and then I’m going to go” and you say “okay.” And then when I get up to go, you beg, “one more minute of cuddles!” and I stay for one more minute and then kiss you goodnight and tell you that I’ll be back soon and then we’ll cuddle all night long (to which you say, “yeah, cuddle all night long!”), and then you easily fall asleep alone, happy!
We bought you a big boy bed in February, and you started your night off in that bed, in your own room for about a week before you started fighting sleep so much that you wouldn’t go to sleep until 11pm. So, you’re not ready to leave the family bed. I’m a-ok with that, because the first night we started you off there I thought that I could keep you there until morning (theoretically) and you know what? I totally cried. So when it came time for me to go to bed, I picked you up, apologized to your dad, and brought you back into bed with me. The rest of the nights I promised you that I’d bring you back into the big bed again to help ease the transition, and you actually stopped fighting going to your big boy bed to sleep, but then as soon as you started refusing sleep, well, that was it for me. There’s plenty of time before you should sleep in your own bed, and I’m in no rush. Especially now that you’re sleeping all night long.
Last month we battled a pretty major flu. It kept you home from school for a week, and I think your dad was home from work for three days too. Your dad barfed on the floor, you just slept. The worst day was when you slept for 19 hours. You were awake from noon till 5pm, and that was it for the entire day. You didn’t talk, you didn’t move, you just sat or laid there. You did throw up once, and you did have a fever, but it was scary just because of how much you weren’t yourself. Seeing you ill is hard on everyone.
You can go to the bathroom by yourself now, you can pull your pants on and off, you even got changed into your pajama bottoms all by yourself this month, and even though it shouldn’t excite me this much, I was like, “HOLY MOTHER, ASH!!! You are AMAZING!!!”
Last month we did a few activities, like visiting the science center:
and go skating, which you liked just as much as you did last year:
and explore the icicles, which really are cool, even to me!
Now that the weather is warming up, I’m hoping we’ll have more days at the park, less time shovelling snow. I long for the days we spent at the playground, even though this winter was relatively snowless. You and I go to the library every week to pick up new books, which you listen to and memorize within two reads, and even though our weeks all tend to blend into one another, you never really seem bored. You really love to go to Value Village with your dad on Saturdays (and as a family on Sundays), you like to wade in the pool with me on Wednesdays (though you’re still pretty scared of the deep water and do not enjoy anything remotely like swimming), but we can’t wait to bring you to the lakes again, your dad wants to take you fishing, and it makes me realize how much of a little boy you are when I see you running and jumping and sliding down slides all by yourself now.
Your favorite foods are: raisins, cereal, goat’s cheese, kamut noodles (with tomato sauce or pesto), soy milk, mozzarella cheese, Vinta crackers, anything sweet, toast and tofu. You don’t eat a lot of vegetables. You’ve been taking a multi-vitamin for the past several months, and is always the first thing you in the morning, “Tiiiiiiime to geeeet uuuuuup. I want a bear vitamin!” and we’ve recently started you on some fish oil to get your omega 3s, because you weren’t getting them from any other source.
Your Nana keeps saying, “I can’t believe I’m having a conversation with him!” Sometimes, when I think about how far you’ve come, my mind is blown too. It’s gone by so fast, you’re such a big boy now, with real friends and likes and dislikes, with talents and interests. It’s so amazing to watch you grow and learn. You even spelled “up” last month. We were sounding out the word and I asked you which letters were in the word up and you said “U P!”
There aren’t two prouder parents than your dad and I.
Love,
Mama